I'll say very little about what happened to me last night, suffice to say that you shouldn't read a textbook on invertebrates (specifically, the photo section on spiders) before you go to sleep. You also shouldn't do this while taking medication for the debilitating flu you have. Because you might sort of wake up and think, in your medicated hallucinatory half-dream state, that you see an enormous Wolf Spider (NOT FOR THE JUMPY) preparing to jump at your face. And you also might, in your haste to get away from this terrifying hallucination, smack your face off a bedpost, causing a deep cut that requires steri-strips to close.
The irony is, I spent all this weekend doing an advanced first aid course.
That's it. No more invertebrates before bedtime.